Thursday, 12 November 2009

One Step Forward – Ten Steps Back

Just when I thought I was making progress, I had rather a big setback with regards to my shoulder injury. All was fine until last week when I decided to walk home from work and carry my laptop for 2.5 miles in a backpack – owch. It still hasn’t recovered and I’m back to having daily pain. I don’t know if the new physio exercises are exacerbating it as well; they’re quite tough. I’m off to see the physio this Friday for his take on this.

I don’t know what I was thinking. Three medical professionals recommended surgery, but no, I thought I could beat this with physio and quickly as well. I didn’t have much choice either. I don’t have a spare ca. £6,000 lying around or three months where I can go without the use of my right arm.

Since I responded so well to physio initially, I wrongly assumed it would be smooth sailing. Given that I am partly missing a tendon, this of course was never going to be the reality and I think that in part I fooled myself into thinking it would be OK.

It’s exceptionally difficult to try something that you failed at before; particularly when it’s something that you have to put a ton of effort into and have no guarantee of things being any different.

Part of me feels like giving up the battle before I have even begun to fight. I’m tired and I’m sick of fighting.

It’s been tough. It feels like I fell off of a cliff last week and I haven’t quite recovered. I was happy to think that I was making progress, yet even there, all is not lost. I’ve kept up with running and it’s becoming slightly less painful and better still I had a ton of fun mountain biking last weekend.

Recently I was just sticking to the fireroads of Swinley forest. My lack of fitness precluded anything more adventurous. However last week we ‘discovered’ a sweet bit of singletrack and rode it over and over again until it got dark – which isn’t actually that late anymore.

Lately I’ve really been missing climbing. It didn’t bother me for a while, but now I’m starting to feel it. I think I was so caught up with work that I didn’t have time to notice. I’m even missing indoor climbing, so I know I must be desperate.

What a rubbish time of year.

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