Silencio

In a desperate attempt to regain lost strength, not to mention dignity, I ventured to my wall tonight, expecting nothing more than a few V4’s.

I got a V5 that I failed last time on the first go and did a lap on it just to make sure, but even more surprising was the V6 that I did every move save the last and to make it even sweeter, I found out that I was adding moves to the start that weren’t necessary (though I feel it’s a much better problems with the gratuitous sideways campus move ;-)).

Seeing as I haven’t been climbing in ages and I was actually feeling very, very tired tonight, what was different?

First, it was quiet.

It seems as though the word is out and my favourite wall is no longer a secret. Good for business, bad for concentration.

Sometimes even utterly inconsequential V5s at the wall require a huge effort for me. I often have to put so much of myself into it; probably too much. I find it extremely difficult to do so if I’m being distracted. I have to dig deep and focus, silly as it sounds.

It is actually part of what I enjoy most about bouldering, the ability to commit and focus yourself 100% on something that seems impossible and ultimately (err… hopefully) seeing it through. It just doesn’t work for me in crowded room.

The other big difference is simply wanting it. After a layoff I always forget just how much you need to want something and the more difficult it is, the more you have to want it.

I still have a way to go, but maybe I’ve not lost quite as much as I thought I had.

Yo estaba bien por un tiempo,
volviendo a sonreír.