Sunday, 1 March 2009


Exams are finally over, which means that I now have my life back, at least for a short while. I went bouldering (sadly indoors) two days in a row for the first time in ages. The old addiction is coming back. My biggest limiting factor seems to be skin at the moment. Ugh - my hands ache. I found two different V5's that I'm currently working; one at the Arch and one at the West Way. I was hoping to use them as a yardstick for this ‘rebuilding’ phase.

Whilst flailing on one of the aforementioned V5 today, I became aware of a conversation. Before I pulled onto the problem a man and a woman walked into the room. Mid-move on the crux of the V5 the man said to the woman ‘looks like that would be a good one for you’. ‘No way’ she exclaimed. He then added ‘it’s all just strength’. Two points: A). Despite the grimace, I can still hear you. More importantly B). Strength is only the beginning. Every muscle in my body was aching and shouting ‘no!’ If it was just about strength, I probably would have never gotten up a V1 today. I am ridiculously out of shape, tired and distracted. I might not be climbing anywhere near to where I was however, I told myself that I could do this one move. Maybe I would never finish the whole problem, maybe I won’t get my strength back, maybe my life will never get even slightly sorted out, maybe my course was a bad idea (tangent – sorry…), but for god’s sake – I could do this one seemingly impossible to me move!

And I did. Then I fell off the next one.

To me, it’s hardly ever ‘just a boulder problem’.

I still have a rather sinking feeling that began to develop towards the end of last week. I just hope it's all worth it. After I finish something big, I often feel down (as do most people?). I'm hoping it's just that and not foreshadowing. Cue the usual questions as to why am I doing this, why can't I just be happy with how things are... etc.

I was hoping to get out this week, but the weather looks horrible - however on second thought, I think that I need to get out of here.

Everything flows, nothing stands still.

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