Friday, 21 August 2009

What’s wrong with my shoulder...

Next Thursday I will be having ‘contrasting agent’ injected directly into my joint facilitating MRI visualisation to answer that very question.

It’s unlikely to be good news. After examination the surgeon suggested three possibilities. First, I knackered my shoulder joint on the top through wear and tear (and most likely genetic susceptibility). I didn’t get an exact name for this condition (and never actually heard of it before), but the disheartening part is that it requires surgery. The next likely diagnosis is a SLAP tear, which I’m more familiar with and also requires surgery. Coming in at a very, very distant third is my original diagnosis of an exceptionally severe rotator cuff impingement which is fixable with physical therapy.

At any rate, it looks like climbing is out of the picture for some time. That is of course if I go through with it. A large part of me feels like cancelling my appointment next week (I don’t want a huge needle stuck into the sorest part of my body!!) and sticking my head in the sand again. However the reality of my pain no longer affords me such liberties. I haven’t been able to sleep in weeks. Climbing is agony and yet again I am living in fear of having to pick up the kettle.

Immediately my thoughts turn to why. What did I do wrong.

Trying too hard. Wanting something too much. Pushing myself too much. Ever so slightly believing.

Everything that makes me me.

Am I supposed to give up on that.

In all likelihood it was a random event predicated on nothing more than a desire to climb. But it’s been a tough year – OK, life and my mind tends to wander.

I’m scared.


Minister of the Masochistic Truth said...

Injuries suck, especially when they draw you away from your passions! My climbing partner presently has a broken wrist, leaving me with no belayer. Bouldering it is until he is well.

Wishing you a speedy recovery! Keep up with the Yoga - it will help speed the healing process.

Jenn said...

Thanks for your comments. I'm trying to stay positive; it's just a bit difficult.

I hope that your climbing partner is back to belaying soon :-)

Minister of the Masochistic Truth said...

Me too. Seems like his is a complicated injury. It truly sucks when our bodies get broken!

Minister of the Masochistic Truth said...

...just an aside, my wife hails from Derbyshire (just outside of Chesterfield), and we go over there every now and again to visit her family (she's named Jenny too!). Can you recommend any good bouldering sites in that immediate area?

Jenn said...

You're in luck there is a ton of climbing there! It's right by the Peak District.

Guidebook here:
Peak District Bouldering

The main crag is Stanage:
UK climbing Stanage database

But there are tons of others. Most of it is gritstone (a harder version of sandstone - lots of slopers and very technique dependent), but you can find a few crimpy limestone venues there as well. HTH.

Minister of the Masochistic Truth said...

That's fantastic - thank you so much!

More than likely we'll be over next summer, and I'll definitely pack my shoes and chalk bag. My wife had mentioned a place near Baslow or Carver or something like that, but I think that's all top roping and lead climbing (I'm trying to get the missus into climbing, but it's difficult to find the time to go with work and childcare needs).
Anyway, I'll check out the resources and, again, thank you!