Desire

Tonight I got further on the hardest problem that I ever climbed indoors. It was the black problem in this video. I figured out a new sequence just before the move where I fell off in the video:



It consisted of twisting, bringing my right foot over to the left and finally letting go with my right hand and bringing it over to the crimp on the left. Holding the barndoor off the sidepull with my lefthand was the technical crux. I stepped up, got the next hold and the one after that, but then my foot slipped and I came off of the wall one hold away from victory. I managed to pull myself back on but it was too late. I was off. My heart pounding and when I finally came to I realised there was a round of applause. That’s certainly never happened before :-)

I’ve said it lots, but I think it bears repeating. I really have to want to do something at my limit. Earlier in the night, I was rubbish, falling off problems that I sent before. I find the contrast striking. I was climbing so weakly and then almost immediately afterwards I did the hardest moves that I have ever done. The only difference I can think of is that I wanted it more. It’s something deep inside, way beyond tiredness, even muscle strength. If it’s really what you want it goes deeper. Nothing else matters.

When I started working that problem the dyno earlier on was my limit. This still does stop me often, but now I’ve progressed to falling off the top. The move that was my limit is no longer, however, there are a whole set of moves that are now stoppers for me. I guess it’s just the nature of the game. I guess it’s what drives me.